Another Blah day...gosh when will spring be here.

Been sorta hecktic in the office today. Sometimes I dont like how things are done, but who am I to say anything, I just do what I am asked even if it changes three or four times before I can get it finished. Thats fine. I missed a nice lunch cause I was so stressed/worried about it. Turn in what I have and its fine like its not that important now...are you kidding me.

Then there is "My Friend" we were getting closer, still moving slow but now its like stand still. just been this way for a couple of weeks, I text and email call but he doesnt ... do I take it as a sign. Of course when he is done doing whatever it is that he is doing he will talk, but just seems that it gets fewer fewer between. Sometimes I dont like this, most of the time I dont like this. A million things run throu my head and it shouldnt I should be able to trust... but I cant. I should take it as if he is busy working on something in his house then he is just busy, but I cant, Why not. I wonder sometimes that I am not ready for a relationship just yet not that I am not over the pervious because I am but I am not over all the emotional baggage. If you know what I mean. I want to trust and once that trust is broken its hard to trust anyone..I think. I do know that not all men are jerks. I could spend hours bashing them, but whats the point not all are like the ones I have found so far...

Oh I think I could use a really good cry.

I told someone that I should just always expect the worst that way I wont ever be disappointed! They said you cant go throu life like that. Well if you expect the worst then something good happens that makes it really great doesnt it.




If you’ve been deceived by someone, you lose one of life's greatest treasures you lose the capacity to trust. Because without trust, love is not possible. -unknown